My life before

I went to school like most people and made friends enjoyed going out for drinks when I was a bit older, then I left home to go to university where I dabbled with some drugs and my drinking got heavier.

 After university I moved back home and met somebody very special to me. We got married I was working long hours in my job, at the beginning I didn't drink very much but over time I started drinking again and when my dad died I withdrew into myself and started looking at photos of younger girls and fantasising about them. Over time our relationship drifted apart and we got divorced. 

 Then I moved into another long term relationship and had moved to Spain at first I didn't drink very much  but over time I started drinking and gambling a little bit more.  I had been self employed for several years teaching English and settling into my life in the sun, I had my family back in England which I could visit whenever I wanted.

My best friend died from a drugs and alcohol fuelled night, he'd obviously had childhood issues but never spoke of them to anybody. I decided to reduce my alcohol intake because I didn't want to hurt the people I loved the most like my friend did. However, I was an addict and needed a buzz, so I gambled more but now I saw it as investing. I also slipped deeper into my sexual fantasy world and spent more time looking for newer and better quality illegal porn.

I thought that I had a good routine and felt in complete control of my life.